One for the D&D geeks out there...

This is from an acquaintance, whose second daughter was born just recently (mmetrumpington, this expains why you might not have seen him 'round the neighborhood of late...)

NPC stat block for my daughter I-----:

Newborn

Size/Type:  Tiny Fey
Hit Dice:  1/2 d4 (1 hp)
Initiative:  -5 (when awake), +15 (if encounter started with a sudden, loud noise)
Speed:  0
Armor Class: 5
Base Attack/Grapple:  -10/-20
Attack:  One-handed finger grab +2, special attacks
Space/reach:  19 inches/0 ft.
Special attacks:  spell-like abilities (charm monster, piercing cry, no rest for the weary, cone of soiling)
Special qualities:  cuteness
Saves:  Fort -2, Ref -5, Will +0 (-7 will save against Lullaby)
Abilities:  Str 1, Dex 1, Con 3, Int 6, Wis 1, Cha 25
Skills:  Craft (regurgitated milk) +10, Craft (soiled diapers) +20, Perform (cry) +15, Profession (baby) +10,
Feats:  skill focus (craft soiled diapers), greater skill focus (craft soiled diapers)
Environment:  my house
Organization:  Always with at least one care-taker.  Likely to attract relatives and inlaws.

Spell-like Abilities:

At-will charm monster (DC 21, this save is Charisma-based)

Piercing Cry:  All creatures within a 30 ft. radius must make a Fortitude save DC 18 or else be deafened.  This can be used an unlimited number of times per day.

No Rest for the Weary:  Newborn wakes all living creatures around her once every 1d6 hours.  Fatigue and exhaustion modifiers apply as normal.

Cone of Soiling:  Newborn can emit a cone of soiling at any direction.  Anything within the area of effect is considered "soiled" as per the prestidigitation spell.

I'm not certain just WHAT happened.

I started feeling a little funny when I first got to work today, but I chalked it up to rapid weather changes in the last week, and the fact that I've been working at home the past few days, and thought it would pass.

But I just couldn't shake that nagging feeling.




Then I found these two horns sprouting right from my head! (Un)Holy cow!



But, being the scientist I am, I quickly formulated two hypotheses:

a) Someone in the building where I work is using some interesting chemicals.

b) The boss made a deal with the devil, selling the souls of everyone in lab, in order to land that next grant.

I started looking for some empirical evidence for either, and was not terribly surprised to find the lab manager similarly afflicted (his are green, straight, and jut out from the sides of his head). Unfortunately, I just can't rule out the first hypothesis, and while the second hypothesis is out of my normal area of expertise I'm a little more enamored of it. Why? Well, in walking around, I found this:



Hrmmm.

However, when I asked the boss about it, she said that she had just come back from her first Mardi Gras in New Orleans, ever, and had picked up a pair of horns herself. (Yup, they were smaller, but black and with a cute little curve) Then she handed out various sets of beads to all of us in lab.

Yeeeahhh. I'm definitely leaning towards the sale of etheric material hypothesis. As I piece it together, I'll keep you posted.