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The pang of grief that cuts like a razor, quick and sharp, can be a blessing. When you wipe the tears away and then feel the bubbling laugh, you think "Am I crazy?" Then you understand the relief as it sweeps over you, and you laugh as easily as you had cried. And as briefly.
Yes, I have cried many times over the past months, for varying reasons. I imagine this comes as no surprise to any of you.
Last night, this morning, whenever it was, I mourned, I think at last, the loss of my best friend. Prior, my grief was for losing my love, and more for what she meant to my life. This time, there was no confusion, no misunderstanding. My friend, she who was inside my heart and within my mind without an effort, is lost to me.
My progress down this path is not over, I understand, but last night, or this morning, I said goodbye. No bitterness, no anger, no despair, none of my darker pains colored this. This was plainly seeing the closed door, and knowing that I could never unlock it.
And that bare simplicity is the blessing.
Yes, I have cried many times over the past months, for varying reasons. I imagine this comes as no surprise to any of you.
Last night, this morning, whenever it was, I mourned, I think at last, the loss of my best friend. Prior, my grief was for losing my love, and more for what she meant to my life. This time, there was no confusion, no misunderstanding. My friend, she who was inside my heart and within my mind without an effort, is lost to me.
My progress down this path is not over, I understand, but last night, or this morning, I said goodbye. No bitterness, no anger, no despair, none of my darker pains colored this. This was plainly seeing the closed door, and knowing that I could never unlock it.
And that bare simplicity is the blessing.
