A brief conversation with myself this morning, at work:

(Imagine an ultra-basso profundo growl, if you will, that's my current voice.) (Verisimilitude, dontcha know.)

Me: What are you doing out there, on the keyboard?

Lung 1: ???!??

Me: I can't use you if you're over there, and your alveoli can't press the keys.

L1: ~~~??)!&??

Me: No, they don't allow organ sales on EBay. You can't get away from this cold that way.

L1: !!!....?

Me: Silly lung. *scoop*

Following a little later...

Me: Hey, stop that!

Lung 2: !!!P!

Me: That hood is for bacteria. It's to protect them from me.

L2: ??!!! **&#^@%@!!

Me: Yes, I'm certain the airflow feels nice. But it won't clean you off or out.

L2: @!#()&**()&!!!!!

Me: How rude! Fine. If you want E. coli or Lactobacillus pneumonia, stay there then. That's what's been in that hood.

L2: ...?

Me: That's what I thought. Get back in here.
*shuffling noise*

What this really means is that I'm actually on the mend. It just doesn't sound like it.