Ugh. Grr. Argh.

I've just submitted my three topic choices for my Preliminary Exam (AKA The April That I Shall Never Get Back). Now I wait until Friday when the Prelim Exam Committee informs me which of those three topics they assign to me. I then spend the next four weeks writing a 15-page research proposal, from scratch, on this topic, to demonstrate my intellectual worthiness and mettle.

I'm not nervous about the process. I'm twitchy because I'm antsy. I want this thing done so I can get on with life. There is a metaphor lurking in the back of my head of me as Submarine Commander who has just released three torpedoes into the Vast Blue, knowing that one of those is going to come back to the boat in the very worst way. But, it's not like I haven't spent the last 7 weeks writing a 10-page research proposal. I know the ropes now, so the actual process isn't bad.

However, that starting next MondaySunday I'll be spending probably 50 hours a week in the library, on top of my piddling 6 hours of classwork, and maybe one hour a day in lab, is frustrating. (I take Saturdays off. End of discussion.) Last week I spent 15 hours in the library, just reading up sufficiently on the topics to say "Yes, this interests me enough to write something about it." But for the next four weeks, I will do nary an erg of actual labwork.

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In other news, I received the travel grant award for my conference in Toronto. That leaves me with only another $450 to scrape up for the trip. Yay!

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Also spent Saturday helping good friends move. Closer to me. Now there truly is an unholy concentration of gamery, geeky goodness within walking distance. That meant I spent Sunday morning rolling over in bed, looking at the clock and saying "Nope, not yet. Rolling back over, now."

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Hrmm, perhaps I should spend this week catching up on correspondence and doing things like smelling the flowers and enjoying one last burst of freedom. Hrmmm.

I'm not helping.

I love that I've learned the skill of brain-segregation. I.E. I can be engrossed in reading a particulary gnarly* piece of scientific literature when a complete non-sequitur enters the back of my head. I then proceed to analyze the non-sequitur whilst my eyes keep moving down the page. However, the eyes move, but comprehension is lost. Whoops, there goes the last five minutes of reading. Crap.

I seem to be defining the "I hear you, but I'm not listening" of the visual sensorium. Yay. Go me. Woot, I say, woot.

*As in complex. Rarely as in "Woah, duuude!"

** You know it's going to be a fantastic paper when the authors are inventing words, from whole cloth, in quotes, in the abstract.