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Every now and again I get a crazy hair (not many of them left, I know) that makes me think that going back to grad school and completing the Ph.D. isn't such a bad idea.
The original, personal reason for my departure from graduate school at Chicago, was that one day, in my thesis lab, I looked at my boss, and realized that I didn't want her job. I liked doing the science myself, I liked being hands on, I enjoyed tackling the problems and the issues on a small-to-medium scale. I did not look forward to writing grants, competing for funds against other worthy scientists, playing political games within departments, managing a lab myself, and having to pick a chunk of a big picture to call my own. I reasoned that with the M.S., I would be far more appealing to employers corporate and academic, my degree would be a heck of a lot more portable in the field, and frankly, I'd never have to face the quandaries that stare at Ph.D. biologists these days.
All in all, I had a year to a year and a half left at Chicago, given how fast I was cranking through things. I'd had enough, though. I'd proven that I could survive the most grinding academic regimen I'd ever faced (yes, honestly, it beat the pants off EEP's shakedown year), and I didn't need to prove anything else to myself.
These days, as I'm starting to consider stepping out of the research arena, and I begin to consider other kinds of work, I find my thoughts not infrequently returning to the idea of the Ph.D. For example, I seem to be enjoying teaching, at least at the high school level, and I remember enjoying it at the college and graduate levels (ask me about my tutoring job, some time). I am considering as a next step going through EMU's post-baccalaureate teacher certification program. But then I'm thinking about how I like to teach, and what I can teach, and realize that if I'm serious about it, I really should teach college. And trying for that brass ring becomes a lot easier with the Ph.D., even if it is damn hard to find a non-research bio teaching position.
Combined with the new job being something of a return to the fold for me (it's right up my alley, with the B.S. in Microbiology and the M.S. in Immunology, and now I'm working at their intersection), the thought of getting back to the degree gets more appealing. I'm enjoying the job, the work is coming easily, and hell, I already run circles around most of the grad students here. I could just talk to my boss about becoming a grad student in a year or two, she's a member of a degree granting department. A year or two farther down the road, *bam* I'm done, a fresh minted Dr., and with a bit of cleverness, I get an E.C. at the same time. Teaching doors open wide, and I'm made. Right?
Then memory twitches, and remember the Hell of Hyde Park, and think that it can never be that bad again, but it could still be a serious pain. And for the moment, I'm tired of serious pain. But the thought's there. I'm really fairly neutral on it, I can see as many negatives as positives.
I think the real problem, right now, is that I'm very commitment shy. After burning myself, repeatedly, over the past eight years or so... the thought of a four-year plan is really daunting. So I go back to vacillation and living on cruise control.
*scratches head*
*shrugs*
The original, personal reason for my departure from graduate school at Chicago, was that one day, in my thesis lab, I looked at my boss, and realized that I didn't want her job. I liked doing the science myself, I liked being hands on, I enjoyed tackling the problems and the issues on a small-to-medium scale. I did not look forward to writing grants, competing for funds against other worthy scientists, playing political games within departments, managing a lab myself, and having to pick a chunk of a big picture to call my own. I reasoned that with the M.S., I would be far more appealing to employers corporate and academic, my degree would be a heck of a lot more portable in the field, and frankly, I'd never have to face the quandaries that stare at Ph.D. biologists these days.
All in all, I had a year to a year and a half left at Chicago, given how fast I was cranking through things. I'd had enough, though. I'd proven that I could survive the most grinding academic regimen I'd ever faced (yes, honestly, it beat the pants off EEP's shakedown year), and I didn't need to prove anything else to myself.
These days, as I'm starting to consider stepping out of the research arena, and I begin to consider other kinds of work, I find my thoughts not infrequently returning to the idea of the Ph.D. For example, I seem to be enjoying teaching, at least at the high school level, and I remember enjoying it at the college and graduate levels (ask me about my tutoring job, some time). I am considering as a next step going through EMU's post-baccalaureate teacher certification program. But then I'm thinking about how I like to teach, and what I can teach, and realize that if I'm serious about it, I really should teach college. And trying for that brass ring becomes a lot easier with the Ph.D., even if it is damn hard to find a non-research bio teaching position.
Combined with the new job being something of a return to the fold for me (it's right up my alley, with the B.S. in Microbiology and the M.S. in Immunology, and now I'm working at their intersection), the thought of getting back to the degree gets more appealing. I'm enjoying the job, the work is coming easily, and hell, I already run circles around most of the grad students here. I could just talk to my boss about becoming a grad student in a year or two, she's a member of a degree granting department. A year or two farther down the road, *bam* I'm done, a fresh minted Dr., and with a bit of cleverness, I get an E.C. at the same time. Teaching doors open wide, and I'm made. Right?
Then memory twitches, and remember the Hell of Hyde Park, and think that it can never be that bad again, but it could still be a serious pain. And for the moment, I'm tired of serious pain. But the thought's there. I'm really fairly neutral on it, I can see as many negatives as positives.
I think the real problem, right now, is that I'm very commitment shy. After burning myself, repeatedly, over the past eight years or so... the thought of a four-year plan is really daunting. So I go back to vacillation and living on cruise control.
*scratches head*
*shrugs*
